how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I currently don't understand fingers.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
