she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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