i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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