OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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