So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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