dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
