Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
