She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
