You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize