saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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