Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
