There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
