I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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