how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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