if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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