Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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