stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
