What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
