never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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