Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Banned from zoo.
Again?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
