4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize