Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
