I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
