big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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