Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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