so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
pray to the hookup gods
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
