I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I love having hate sex.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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