FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
