When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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