Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She's the barista slut.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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