the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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