Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize