On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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