So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
