You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
