farters have to be the big spoon...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
