I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
