i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have already put on my inside pants.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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