..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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