they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
