Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize