apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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