We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
