This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
