their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
