butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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