Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
