Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
