i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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