I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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