you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
