1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
