thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
