We're like a lot better than the average bears
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
