Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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