just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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