seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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