At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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