Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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