hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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