I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize