Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
