is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
