five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
