I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
